The front of the building has a very sharp angular corner, and the windows are strewn with advertisements for $7.95 buffett meals which lures you in. Upon entering, you are greeted by some Asian guy with really bad teeth and dirty nails. He seats you down on diner style seats, sticky with grease and who knows what. Then, you put your hands on the table and wonder if you have just dipped your palms on a table top wiped-off with soy sauce because it is just too sticky. Despite all this, you really must sit there and soak up the disgusting aspect of it all.
Soon after, you should get up to start your meal of course! Remember that this is a buffet style food joint. The food is laid-out in four mobile stations displaying Chinese and Japanese food. You get one of their off-white dinner plates and pick-up an assortment of generic asian items from the food stations like pork dumplings, sushi, wonton soup, sweet and sour pork, and some friend things here and there. Soon, the small plate should be filled to the brim with either saucy items or deep fried stuff.
By the time you get back to your seat, ice water should have been placed there. Don't drink the water; it tastes nasty and has a slight brown hue. Sit down and hate your meal; that's the charm of it all! Dip your fork into a very thick piece of pork covered in some pasty, clear, red sauce. Try the sushi with rice that seems too old. Then have a taste of the fried chicken poured liberally with MSG. It won't be a surprise if by the time you are done, you will want to drink that water I told you not to drink. You are going to need a drink, because the food is really hard to digest.
Make sure to vomit at home when you're done with your meal because you won't be able to digest it anyway. And then you could say you have accomplished this most awesome feat!
MELAKA RESTAURANT 751 San Bruno Ave. W., San Bruno, CA 94066
